Retirement Social Interactions

I am still some distance from retirement as is my wife. This doesn’t prevent us from thinking about our future and planning for the day we quit. Ignoring the obvious factor, we have to think about what we will do and how we will do. Listening to one retiree talk about his experience is socialization. A commenter below even mentioned about those retiring that committed suicide. From my perspective of having retirees living around me and interacting with me I found several truths that should make my wife and me think about.

First, religion is very important in retirement when it comes to social interactions. Recently, we were invited to a breakfast with some retirees who meet about their church service. What I discovered was a social discourse between six or seven retired couples where the food wasn’t importatn but the social intercourse was. Furthermore, I find these couples are active within their church and support each other in various ways. Their church is the focal point where they meet for events and the service. Listening to them talk, I saw a connective relationship between all of them that helped to strengthen their psychological state and all were active.

When it comes to my atheist friends I do not see that level of support. My neighbors near me that we routinely would interact with pre-2020 are now more isolated than ever. We do not interact that often as my wife and I are busy on projects on our property and we have expanded our activities. This couple show depression and look for ways to interact with people. My youngest son visits the husband, but even my son is busy with his work, girlfriend, and activities. This couple have nothing and what they do have isn’t enough. Most of these friends relied on non-family and a specific type of interaction and the events of 2020 changed it forever for them. Some have adjusted while others have not, and this isn’t to say all atheists are struggling with socialization. Far from it, but in general this is what I am seeing.

The best of the retiree group are those with family nearby whether they are religious or not. That is family they get along with. I have neighbors down the road with children next door and several houses away that watch their grandchildren and get together frequently. They are quite active with their family.

Second, when it comes to social interactions there really isn’t a huge difference between those who are religious and those who are not. The difference is the point of social interactions. Religious people who attend a church have a rather static position they can attach themselves to. People come and go but the church remains and gives them a location to develop friendships or interactions. Those relying on other activities are in a less stable situation. My wife and I dance, but we recognize this is rather temporary. Even interacting with my neighbors is temporary as our life schedules change or those neighbors depart whether by choice or time. Volunteering is also temporary as the function could disapear or you have to change because of health or other reasons.

As the image from someone who retired recently shows, “limited human contact” is a big issue. For some of us, these three words are a good thing but for most people it is torture. With everyone thinking about whether or not they have enough money to retire or the health insurance, they forget about what they will do for socializing. A friend that I work with recently retired and we haven’t talked to each other since. Our connection has been broken even though we are friends. For a decade or more, we conversed every day and now it is gone. When you retire or are planning to retire plan for some activity where you engage with people whether it is religion related, club related, hobby related, or volunteering.